Sleeping Pills

It's 00:40. Just popped a sleeping pill, and couldn't resist the temptation to go online before the drugs do their magic.

It hasn't been a very good day. The right side of my neck is very stiff, and hurts like hell. I'm feeling blue. I feel extremely lonely. I miss human touch. I miss a girl's touch. I am not sending out positive vibes out there, and it's evident by the way girls have been avoiding me. I probably send out "needy" vibes. I try not to, but there' something that I'm not doing right.

So what can I say about sex tonight? I've covered all the girls I've been with in this blog in the span of one week. 10 years summarized in so little time. How sad. I don't care if I only have sex with one person while in my 30s as long as it's good, and as long as I'm in love. I'm not always that lovey-dovey, but I'm building this mental picture of the girl of my dreams, and in a way I'm just waiting for her to appear out of the blue and make everything better. It's not going to happen that way, I know it, but I'm drawing a total blank when it comes to working on myself. I should be planning my visit to The Big City by making contacts, getting my cv and portfolio ready, doing research, etc. Instead, I'm killing time online between this blog, facebook, e-mail, sports news and gossip pages.

I can start feeling the effect of the sleeping pills. It's such a nice feeling. It's the one moment in the day that cherish more than others. I used to love falling asleep with Maria. She was so cute in bed. She would put her head on my chest, or we would spoon. Spooning with her was great because she had curvy hips and a tiny wast. It felt so nice.

ok can't write now. the pills have the better of me. let's try to have with this and see how long I can continue typing. So Sex is sex and sex is a souvenir right now. I wonder if I know the person I will have sex next. Will it be a friend? An ex? An acquaintance? Someone I will meet on a night one. Hmm. I have to many girl friendships. I don't quite fit the bold of the people in this city. That's my theory. I want to make 100'000 Chf which is 40'000 £ in 2008. It's pretty unrealistic, but It's something I want to happen, amd will make sure it happens. yeah. toys toys toys at x-mas 2008. Girls like boys with toys.