Affection

It's the weekend. What's happening this weekend? Not a whole munch planned. I might hit the gym in an hour or two. Haven't gone for about 10 days, which is not good. I've been lazy and tired lately, but today I'm determined to go. Besides, Saturday's are very quiet there, and I like to have the place to myself. I'm not an exercise freak, but the feeling after working out or doing sports is such a natural high that I really feel like I should force myself to do it more often.

I don't know what to say other than my situation is still pretty much the same. I still lack motivation, I still lack drive, I still feel lonely, I still fear for the future, but I'm still not giving up. Somewhere ahead I have to get better and live a little. Right now, the baby steps feel like stagnation land. Think positive, think positive.

So what about sex? It's in the title of this blog if I'm not mistaken. What I could say about sex is that I after watching porn daily over the last 3 months, I'm a bit porned out. These days I would be happy with simply having normal, sweet sex. I also would be happy just kissing, cuddling. I miss it so much. THANK GOD for my cat. He is such a sweetie. He jumps on my lap when I'm on the computer or watching tv, he curls up behind my legs when I'm in bed, he purrs like crazy when I caress him. Yesterday I had my hand on his stomach, and it felt so warm, so soft, so comforting. He's just a cat, he can't bring me everything, but he can bring me a little affection, and I crave that so much right now.