Touchdown!

I think I'm finally over my squirting phase - which isn't to say I'm not interested in squirting anymore, but I'm not obsessively looking for clips online anymore. Besides, I think I've seen every squirting video clip there is on the www.

So I haven't given much news lately. As they say, no news is good news. In the last week I've had a breakthrough on a creative project I'm working on, I won a poker tournament (out of 16) at a friend's house, and last but definitely not least, the woman of my dreams text me!!! Amazing. It was on Friday evening. I was on my balcony drinking beers with an acquaintance when I received the message. She asked if I remembered her (Duh!) she made a small reference to the fact that the tequila had given her the fatal blow, and she asked if we could see each other next week for a matter we talked about when we met. I responded positively of course, staying honest but not seeming overly pushy and enthusiastic and in love, and we agreed to meet Thursday evening. There's a fair chance that she is not interested in anything more than just friendly assistance in the matter she needed help in, but from the connection I felt last weekend, and the fact that she still wants to see me, I'm thinking there's a chance it could lead to something more. Maybe it will just lead to a friendship, and I'm a specialist at developing friendships with attractive girls and end up in the friend zone trap (Shannon, Nina and so many more). But there's hope for, there's definite hope.

Other than that, well I've been rather busy and rather good. My depression is starting to wear off, and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (which has felt more like a botomless pit really). I'm still cautious, but more confident. I have a "date" tomorrow with a facebook acquaintance. I'm not interested in starting anything with her, but she wants to see the Simpsons movie and I've been wanting to see it a second time. I just love the Simpsons. Wednesday I'm seeing Ashley, a friend (girl) who is moving out of town soon. Drinks with her, and who knows maybe a shag??? (yeah right) and Thursday I'm seeing the woman of my dreams. Good week in perspective! I can't strike out, I have to keep my eye on the ball and go for the solid hit rather than hitting for the fences. It's usually when you just try to make contact that end up with extra bases or even hit a home run. I'll be happy with just a base it. My apologies if you know nothing about baseball, but I don't know any cricket or football (soccer) analogies. Basically, if I score it's great, but I'll be happy with just a good game and a win :)

Love, Squirting, and Total Lameness.

It hasn't been a bad week. It hasn't been an extraordinary one, but I've been fairly productive, so I'm pretty happy about that. The woman of my dreams (Bella) hasn't called, I'm afraid she won't call. What a damn shame.

I don't have really anything to write. I'm waiting for something to happen, and things will only happen if I get myself out there. There was a time where I would rely a lot on the internet to find my women, but seems like it's not getting me too far, and it brought me heartache recently, so fuck, why not try to meet someone in the real world? Maybe I'm just encouraged because Sunday went very well, I talked to a lot of girls, there were good exchanges, more might've happened?? I don't know, but it did boost my confidence, so I'm gonna ride the wave.

God this post is lame. DId I mention that I was having trouble cumming a gain? I tried for 4 days and the skin of my poor penis is starting to come off, so I had to give it a rest and finally yesterday I wanked in front of, yup, you guessed it... a clip of a girl squirting like mad. It just makes me so damn horny. I talked about it with Nina the other day, and she would love to be able to squirt. God bless that girl.

The Next Girl

It's very intriguing not knowing who will be the next girl that I will smooch, shag, fall in love with or who will break my heart. I've had my heart broken by two girls, Sarah and Clara. But really, the common thing in both those heartbreaks is that I was dumped, when seemingly right before things were going very well. Very deceiving. Give and get fucked. Next time around, I will not be an asshole, but I will definitely protect myself more, and think of myself before thinking for the other person, which I admit I've done too much of in the past.

I'm in the middle stage of getting better. I said a while ago that I was 70% recovered from my depression. I believe it's really more like 50%. Tomorrow I'm seeing my shrink, a very attractive columbian woman. She's probably 40-45, and she's damn sexy. I always make sure I look good when I go to my appointments with her. I've noticed the last two times that she had just sprayed perfume on her. If tomorrow she does it again, I'm going for it :) Of course I won't, but I've been fantasizing taking her on her desk since I first saw her. I don't know how turned on she could be by a guy who cries and complains about his life in front of her, but maybe it's her thing. Just a stupid fantasy, but it's nice to have an attractive girl listen to you and say the right things. It hasn't happened in a while. Nina is good at that, but Nina is taken and is a friend, besides, most of our conversations are online anyway, and right now what I really miss is human contact not involving a screen and a keyboard.

I've been drinking too much lately, or rather too often. I'm slowly becoming an addict. I take 3 kinds of medication + sleeping pills + i drink. I've stopped pot, but if I had some right now I would roll a big one and listen to massive attack's Mezzanine.

I'm still in my Squirt stage. I'm quite fascinated by female ejaculation. I read that 1 in 15 girl have this ability. No idea if that's true, but I must say the sight of girls getting off, cumming, squirting, and screaming in pleasure is quite a turn on. Any squirter readers out there?

Ok, back to wine and music in my living room. I'm working on a project, but it's top secret. So shhhhh.

Coffee and Sleeping Pills

Back up. I slept about 3 hours, and now I feel pretty fucked up. Sleeping pills and coffee don't mix well.

A girl I met a year ago, Ashley, added me on facebook. Why is this newsworthy? Because when I met her at a 4th of July party we instantly clicked. She's pretty hot and seems like a genuine nice fun girl. Will anything come out of this? Probably not, but I think she might be single now :-) I'm always looking for love, I should really stop that. Besides, I can't get attached to a girl now that I'm looking to move cities.

Things I want to do before I die:

- threesome (2 girls)
- have sex a with a girl who squirts
- pay off my debts
- fuck an ex
- fuck a celebrity

That about sums it up. I have other career goals but who gives a fuck about that, right? I might want kids. Well, in reality I really would like to meet the love of my life within 5 years, get married, have kids, and lead a happy & comfortable life, while having amazing sex with my wife and keeping things fresh as to not fall into a boring routine. I long for stability, but I have a need to escape.

Feeling pretty out of it this morning. Will be more productive this afternoon.