Luckier back home?

Not much to say. Routine has set here in London, but I'm enjoying it. I'm moving fwd nicely on a project, and I'm taking baby steps to finding a full time job. I plan on moving here for good in January, and I'd like to have a full time job by spring at the latest. Might have to do temp jobs like giving French, German or Spanish lessons to people (I only know one of the 3) or find a clever way to make money otherwise. Seems that if you have some brains in this city there's a lot of money to be made because, well... there are a lot rich people around.

So with 10 days left in London before I return to the homeland, it's looking less and less likely that I will score some pussy while in the city. With Bella on my mind, I'm having a tough time really going for it. I'd much rather have someone come to me. It would make it all much easier.

I'm now thinking of what awaits me back home. For one, my cat Scratchy, whom I miss ohhh so much. Love that cat. I cried in my bed the other day because I felt so lonely, and in those times Scratchy usually comes and walks on me and then curls up against the back of my legs and sleeps or purrs. So cute. I cried for the first time in a long time. Felt like a slice of my dark days, which aren't far away. Amazing how things can change so quickly. I had small spurts of sadness sometimes, but I get back on my feet and feel good again almost instantly after. I hope this prevails. Anyway...

So yeah, back home my hopes lie on Bella of course, but I'm starting to realize that it's probably not going to work out for practical reasons, and I have a feeling that she will not want to jump into a relationship with the thought that we will be separated for a good part of the next year and probably beyond. It's sad really. If we do hit it off, one option would be to have her come spend 6 months in London to learn english in Britain rather than in the US, which is her plan as of now, but it would sort of defy the purpose of leaving in a country for 6 months where you know no one in order to immerse yourself in the local life and language in order to fully learn the language and get the most out of your time abroad. But maybe love will change that. Who knows, we're not even dating yet that I'm already thinking that far ahead. I can't help it, I really do have such a crush on this girl. She cut her hair short apparently. She says it's bizarre, but felt the need to do it. A cut from her past relationship maybe? Is this good for me? I'm eager to see what she looks like I have to say! I usually like long hair but I bet she's cute with shorter hair.

If things with Bella don't work out (and I'm going to know sooner than later because I'm not going to wait the eve on my return to London in January to make a move on her or tell her my true feeling towards her) there's my former colleague Scarlette, whom I haven't mentioned here I believe. I really had a crush on her, and we had met before I had actually begun working in the same company as her. She's very pretty and cute. Has the sweetest innocent good girl voice, but with that wild side in her which she just hasn't really shown to me yet, but that's most definitely there. We actually did have a date together. She even called it that. We met online, and the time she was going through a "break" with her BF. We hit it off online, then spent a lot of time on the phone, and finally we scheduled a date. It was right before I started seeing Clara. I felt that I had a good shot with her but she cooled off shortly after the date. I took it as a sign that I just wasn't her type physically, but that she liked me as a "friend". We were friends a while while she was in-and-out of her relationship with her BF, and while I was in-and-out of my own relationship with Clara. Finally, I quit my job because of depression, and our contact after that was minimal (though she was one of the first to contact me to know what had happened to me and to check on how I was doing). I haven't seen her since work, but we've e-mailed a bit. Finally, I stopped hearing from her altogether and felt no need to be pushy and contact her again. But just last week she connected to me on Facebook. I wrote to her, asking how she was, filling her in on what I've been up to, and she replied instantly saying that she apologized for not giving any news recently, and that apparently her BF was jealous of me ???? and that she had just broken up with him. WTF? Jealous of me? I never even kissed the girl, or had an intimate moment (though our harmless date was nice but ultimately inconclusive). I guess she must've mentioned me or that he knew that we were buddies at work or online or something. Very strange. Anyway, she said that we had a lot to talk about, and proposed that we have some food, wine and maybe smoke a joint one evening to talk about it all. Hello?? I still don't think she digs me in that kind of way, but I'm all for an evening like that, and who knows... It's nice not expecting anything because sometimes it's in those moments that somethings happens, but I can't think about that or I'll jinx it. Anyway, this is just a nice thought in case things with Bella don't work out. Let it be known, my #1 girl is Bella, I'm crazy about her! But it's nice to know that other people might like you too. If that fails, I'm doing a move on Shannon. She bores me soooo much. Can't get anything out of her in our IMs. But I really feel like putting a move on her I stated previously. A nice shag would be nice with her. I'm convinced she won't go for it, but after one drunken night (and we've had many together) might just give it a shot. And if she pushes me back, well I won't insist (I'm not gonna rape the poor girl!) Ever since I got head butted by that moron and that she got in the middle of the scuffle I've been upset with her. It was a it of the last straw. Once again I was doing her a favor by driving her home after clubbing AND going for food before going home. And it all resulted in a little trip to the hospital for me. Had enough of it. We need to fuck or there's no point in acting like her fucking BF. I'm being a bit mean, but I don't really see what she's been doing for me, when I do a lot for her.