3 months 'til 30

I've been pretty horny the past couple days. It seems by body has definitely adjusted to the antidepressants. I had a very easy time cumming after masturbating yesterday, which is something I was really struggling with since I've started to be on medication. Aside from being horny, I'm also feeling very cuddly. I miss not having a special someone in my bed to hug and kiss. I try not to think of Bella in those moments because it could end up being quite frustrating, but she's still in my heart and head naturally. The opportunities to meet women in this city are insane. There are so many single girls in my age group, it's insane. Many cute ones too. Last night we were in a bar which was a little too fancy for my own taste, and the first thing that struck me was the number of girls there. ABout 70% of the crowd. You could hear French being spoken, German, Italian, English of course. I love it.

I can see myself being here for a couple years to get my career on the right track and then maybe return to my city or move stateswide. I didn't think I would enjoy it here as much as I am right now. I like the lifestyle, I like seeing people outside, I like having good friends here and some family. I don't like how fast my money is being spent, but I also found out that if you pick the right places to hang out at, or buy your clothes or food at, it actually can stay fairly reasonable. The city I live in is pretty expensive, so it's not that much of a change. Of course, if I do get a good job here, the salary would have to been very decent.

So you see, I am NOT planning my life based around a girl that I love. I'm happy of myself for being quite serene about it now. This could change if Bella and I do that, but I have to keep my priorities straight, and I know Bella is not the type to require that I stay in the same city with her. In fact, until she spends those 6 months in the US next year, it'll probably very unlikely to start anything really serious. When she comes back from the US is another story, but god knows where we'll be at in our lives then. Hopefully I'll be settled professionally, and she already has a law firm committed to employing her upon her return (in exactly a year).

I'll be 30 in 3 months exactly. I'm at a point where I hope that the next real relationship I'll have will be the good one, though it's not something you can really plan. I don't really want to be 35 or 40 and single. I'd like to have kids I can play catch with and not have to stop after 5 minutes because my back hurts (personal experience). So yeah, my wish for my 30s is to start building myself as a working man, as a family man, and as a spiritually sane man. My 20s kinda sucked, but there have been some great moments and stories during that period. I'm just ready for something more meaningful now. That being said I wouldn't mind a good shag in the next couple weeks.