Still going good, and still very busy! Cut down a tad on the partying because I a bit overdid it last week but I still go out every day and spend hours walking. I've been more productive getting my portfolio going, and the notion that I will get a job that fits me well is seeming more like a definite possibility each day. It's very exciting, as I was feeling completely trapped in the smaller city. I'm still not set on moving to London for good, but I believe it could become a reality, and really be something good for me.
I've been reallllly horny the past few days. More about that lower.
Communication with Bella has been quite scarce. About an e-mail a week. She took 3 days to reply to my first e-mail, so I took 3 days to reply, and now we're on 3 days waiting for a reply. She's still in my heart, and sometimes at night I think of her and wish I could curl up against her and kiss her. I had a dream in which she made the first move and kissed me. I was quite sad when I woke up in the middle of the night, but got back to sleep eventually and had a very fine day after that.
Ashley sent me a semi-drunk facebook message last night in which she was saying how horny she was, and half apologizing for it, and being pretty funny. Haha. I think she digs me ;-) too bad she's in the US now, but Ashley is the type of girl that would be great to have as a gf, and the type of person I wouldn't want things to get weird with if we ended up getting drunk and sleeping together, Anyway she's in the US so it's not even an issue.
Still doing some great MSN sessions with Nina. She's a riot. We talk about sex pretty much everyday, and we've reached a point where we really have no barriers, we talk about everything and in great detail. It makes for pretty fascinating discoveries, and it's awesome to get a girl's perspective on the type of things they do to men to make them feel better about themselves in bed, or some of the things that girls really like and want, etc... Her BF finally made love to her the other night and it was very sweet apparently. She was very happy about that.
Shannon and I have been a bit in the cold. She's mad at me I think and bitches so much on MSN that it's becoming a real turn off. She wants me to devote most of my attention to her, but I'm not her fucking boyfriend!!! I talked to Nina about it and I suggested that the next time I go on one of our drunken night outs with Shannon that always ends up with me driving her home at 6am, I will put a move on her and absolutely go for it. It's a win-win situation. If she stops me than I can blame it on the alcohol and the fact that she's hot the next day, and if she accepts I can shag her rotten, and I really will not stop be shy about it... I'll be a total beast and it'll be hot and heavy! Probably do her doggystyle and grab her tits firmly while humping her. Might even jizz on her ass. At least that's my fantasy :) Frankly, not to be mean, but I don't give a shit if how she reacts after that. SHe's been breaking my balls lately and I've been her little man servant and I'm tired of it. Besides, I think she really needs a good fuck!!!
I absolutely have to fuck during this London trip. There are so many single girls around going for drinks in groups that the opportunities are there everywhere. Just got to find the right occasion, the right plan, etc... It'll happen, I just don't know when or how, but it will happen! My cock has been rock hard for hours at times, something that hasn't happened since my teenage years. I no longer have problems ejaculating, my system has adjusted to the meds for good. I can now fuck freely without the concern of not being able to cum. It's not so much for me (though it does feel great) but I don't like for my partner to feel like I can't get the job done, or that she doesn't feel like she can get the job done. Sarah and Maria worried about that when I was on meds before.
Back to online poker. I'm on a winning streak :) Things are definitely good these days.
xx
ps: By now Clara must've gotten the "First Class Bitch" birthday card :-) Can't tell you how satisfying it feels. I don't expect a reaction from her part, and I'm happy not to get any. For me it's the final chapter of a very painful experience, and I'm glad to about the way I could get closure on it.
Showing posts with label Ashley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashley. Show all posts
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Saturday Night Fever pt1 (6pm - 2am)
6pm: Very nice time with Ashley by the lakeside drinking beers and talking about stuff. Our personal and work situations are very similar. She's moving state side to start a "new" life in hopes are getting kick started professionally. We have many similarities, and our personalities meche well. I don't feel a spark for her, but she's someone I would definitely like to stay in touch with and know better. We have the same kind of sense of humor, which is golden in any relationship if you ask me.
Bella joined us as planned an hour later. I can say it now, the "project" that I've been helping her with involves helping her and giving her pointers about the US, as she will be spending 6 months there next year. It made perfect sense to have Ashley and her meet in that sense, and it served as a perfect occasion to see Bella again after our first "unofficial" date. Unexpectedly she brought her boyfriend, but as it turns out I think it was a positive thing. Ashley and Bella hit it off right away, and look fwd to seeing each other again in Boston, and as they chatted away, I talked with B's bf, and he's actually quite a nice guy, though lacks a lot of maturity, which I believe and which Bella confirmed the other day, is the reason why she has no long term plans with him. Seems like there's an understanding between them, and without me in the picture I suppose they just would look to keep their thing going until she goes to Boston and then end the relationship amicably, at least that's what she pretty much explained to me the other night (minus the part about me). Ashley eventually left, and upon coming back from the restroom, the couple suggested that I join them for the rest of the evening as they were meeting up with some other friends. OK! Long story short, I spent the evening with the group of friends (3 couple, me and this other very cool and funny guy) and I had an excellent time. I was in a very social mood, and I talked with pretty much everybody, including Bella of course. Now about that! I'm sure -if you even give a shit- that you're wondering what's the deal with me and Bella, where do we stand, etc. Well upon seeing her arrive with her BF at the lake bar I wasn't thrilled but I wasn't overly upset about it either. The thing here is that if something happens with Bella, it will happen naturally (I think). There's no point in pressuring her into anything, especially given the bf situation and the fact that we won't be in the same city for a while. This alleviated a lot of pressure, and it made me much more relaxed and social and fun than I was on our "date" for instance, though are date was awesome and sweet and revealed my more intimate, kinda shy side. I hope (and I think) she digs both sides. So anyway, back to the good stuff. Bella and I had 2 or 3 moments, but one in particular where we made eye contact, and where that instant in time, that split moment bla bla bla where that brief flash moment meant more than a thousand words. Her smile, her gaze, my smile, my gaze, we were in total osmose, or whatever the fuck it's called. I also caught what I believe was silent chatter between her and her 2 gfs, and I'm pretty sure that some of the content was about me. I have a feeling the girls kinda know what's going on (even if nothing concrete is going on, there's something going there for absolute fucking certain). Bella's smile and glow when she was talking with her gfs kinda made me thing that yeah, these are good signs. To top it all off, I think even the BF knows totally what is happening, and he even at point said to Bella I "sorry do you mind if i sit there" (next to his gf, I was sitting on the other side of here) and the he kinda smiled suggesting "yeah i know what's going on, it's fine". It was very bizarre, but for now everything seems to be cool, even though the situation is not clear cut. I'm just gonna go with the flow and see what happens. At the end of the night (which actually was only the start for me... see next post) we split, and while saying bye to to Bella I said "ok so let's check signals before I leave next week (for the Big City) and she instantly nodded and said "yeah yeah". Cool.
I'm a bit happy, I'm a bit sad, but I'm relatively serene. I'm in love, I really am. How can you be in love without even BEING with someone? I don't have theories of on all of that mumbo jumbo, all I know is that I KNOW this girl is right for me, and I KNOW there's something there, and my gut just tells me that it's right. ...But I'm gonna be patient, I'm gonna be patient, and I'm gonna be prepared if things don't turn out the way I hope they will. Our wedding will be in 2011 by the way. We'll have 3 kids.
Ok, next up is the rest of the evening, the late hours: 2:30am ---> 7:00am. It involves Shannon, drinking, blood, hospital, and tears. A night to remember.
Bella joined us as planned an hour later. I can say it now, the "project" that I've been helping her with involves helping her and giving her pointers about the US, as she will be spending 6 months there next year. It made perfect sense to have Ashley and her meet in that sense, and it served as a perfect occasion to see Bella again after our first "unofficial" date. Unexpectedly she brought her boyfriend, but as it turns out I think it was a positive thing. Ashley and Bella hit it off right away, and look fwd to seeing each other again in Boston, and as they chatted away, I talked with B's bf, and he's actually quite a nice guy, though lacks a lot of maturity, which I believe and which Bella confirmed the other day, is the reason why she has no long term plans with him. Seems like there's an understanding between them, and without me in the picture I suppose they just would look to keep their thing going until she goes to Boston and then end the relationship amicably, at least that's what she pretty much explained to me the other night (minus the part about me). Ashley eventually left, and upon coming back from the restroom, the couple suggested that I join them for the rest of the evening as they were meeting up with some other friends. OK! Long story short, I spent the evening with the group of friends (3 couple, me and this other very cool and funny guy) and I had an excellent time. I was in a very social mood, and I talked with pretty much everybody, including Bella of course. Now about that! I'm sure -if you even give a shit- that you're wondering what's the deal with me and Bella, where do we stand, etc. Well upon seeing her arrive with her BF at the lake bar I wasn't thrilled but I wasn't overly upset about it either. The thing here is that if something happens with Bella, it will happen naturally (I think). There's no point in pressuring her into anything, especially given the bf situation and the fact that we won't be in the same city for a while. This alleviated a lot of pressure, and it made me much more relaxed and social and fun than I was on our "date" for instance, though are date was awesome and sweet and revealed my more intimate, kinda shy side. I hope (and I think) she digs both sides. So anyway, back to the good stuff. Bella and I had 2 or 3 moments, but one in particular where we made eye contact, and where that instant in time, that split moment bla bla bla where that brief flash moment meant more than a thousand words. Her smile, her gaze, my smile, my gaze, we were in total osmose, or whatever the fuck it's called. I also caught what I believe was silent chatter between her and her 2 gfs, and I'm pretty sure that some of the content was about me. I have a feeling the girls kinda know what's going on (even if nothing concrete is going on, there's something going there for absolute fucking certain). Bella's smile and glow when she was talking with her gfs kinda made me thing that yeah, these are good signs. To top it all off, I think even the BF knows totally what is happening, and he even at point said to Bella I "sorry do you mind if i sit there" (next to his gf, I was sitting on the other side of here) and the he kinda smiled suggesting "yeah i know what's going on, it's fine". It was very bizarre, but for now everything seems to be cool, even though the situation is not clear cut. I'm just gonna go with the flow and see what happens. At the end of the night (which actually was only the start for me... see next post) we split, and while saying bye to to Bella I said "ok so let's check signals before I leave next week (for the Big City) and she instantly nodded and said "yeah yeah". Cool.
I'm a bit happy, I'm a bit sad, but I'm relatively serene. I'm in love, I really am. How can you be in love without even BEING with someone? I don't have theories of on all of that mumbo jumbo, all I know is that I KNOW this girl is right for me, and I KNOW there's something there, and my gut just tells me that it's right. ...But I'm gonna be patient, I'm gonna be patient, and I'm gonna be prepared if things don't turn out the way I hope they will. Our wedding will be in 2011 by the way. We'll have 3 kids.
Ok, next up is the rest of the evening, the late hours: 2:30am ---> 7:00am. It involves Shannon, drinking, blood, hospital, and tears. A night to remember.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Dates, Bella, and Anal Sex
My date with Julia was so-so. We got along fine, but no spark there at all. We met in a park and went for drinks and a bite to eat in town before heading to the movies. It was pretty easy to find topics of conversation, but I was bit bored and she was more americanized than I had expected. A little too enthusiastic if you see what I mean. She was dressed like it's the 50s to, which wasn't particularly appealing. But a sweet girl nonetheless, just no spark.
I think she tried to pull a couple moves on me. She did the usual hand in the hair thing, and her pose was quite inviting during drinks. While in the theater she left her hand hanging as if it needed to be held. Her legs were tilted in my direction, and I caught her looking at me a couple times. I was ready to go home after but she suggested getting a drink, so we went in a bar and she ordered a mojito (to lose inhibition?) and I ordered the same, and then before I knew it the conversation turned to my sleeping and anxiety problems. Nice mood killer :)
I walked her to the train station and we said goodbye. I can't say that I performed to well, but I wasn't motivated or interested. I'll have to do better tomorrow with WD. I think it's time we give the Woman of my Dreams a name. Let's call her Bella, it suits her pretty well. So I'll have to do better with Bella, and I'll have to do something about my nervousness because when I'm nervous I sweat, and last night, even though there was no reason to be nervous whatsoever, I started dripping from the forehead during our visit during our first sit down at the bar. It must've been very obvious. It happens to me ALL the time, that's why I dislike the summer so much. If anyone has any times I'm listening, cuz I'm out of ideas. Talc powder works pretty well but how am I gonna get that on my forehead with out looking like I just plunged my head in a bowl of cocaine?
Ashley canceled tonight's date. A bit of relief as I really want to put all my effort on Thursday's rendez-vous with Bella. I asked Nina to decode Bella's text message to seek for signs of whether she might be interested in more than just friendly assistance in something she's working on, and after close analysis, she said that it seems like Bella is using the help excuse to meet, that she's making the first move, but that she'll expect me to make the 2nd one, but without throwing myself at her. All of this from one text message :) In appearance there's no substantial evidence that she wants more than just to meet, but a couple small details has me thinking there might be more, and this was confirmed from the great female mind of Nina. There's one sentence in particular: "Now you have my number". Then there's the smiley, and add to that the fact that we could've settled the matter by phone, that I felt something clicked when we met, etc, etc... well, it just makes me think that maybe, just maybe Bella and I will hit it off, get married, have kids, and live happy ever after :)
On to the sex part. Nina and I had an awesome conversation by msn yesterday about Anal love. The thing that I love about Nina, is that we can talk so openly about our sex lives, and give out TMI without feeling weird, on the contrary. She knows I have a modest sized shlong, and I know she has a rather loose vagina, which is what prompted me to say that we'd probably have to have anal sex together for her to get her kicks. She mentioned that it hasn't been a great experience for her so far, but by the end of the conversation she said it sounded like she was missing out on something, and that she would have to try it again. She was surprised to hear that out of my 8 partners, I had successfully sodomized 3 of them (whereas she has been romanced in the butt 2 out of 18 times, and had fingered one guy!). God bless that woman.
I think she tried to pull a couple moves on me. She did the usual hand in the hair thing, and her pose was quite inviting during drinks. While in the theater she left her hand hanging as if it needed to be held. Her legs were tilted in my direction, and I caught her looking at me a couple times. I was ready to go home after but she suggested getting a drink, so we went in a bar and she ordered a mojito (to lose inhibition?) and I ordered the same, and then before I knew it the conversation turned to my sleeping and anxiety problems. Nice mood killer :)
I walked her to the train station and we said goodbye. I can't say that I performed to well, but I wasn't motivated or interested. I'll have to do better tomorrow with WD. I think it's time we give the Woman of my Dreams a name. Let's call her Bella, it suits her pretty well. So I'll have to do better with Bella, and I'll have to do something about my nervousness because when I'm nervous I sweat, and last night, even though there was no reason to be nervous whatsoever, I started dripping from the forehead during our visit during our first sit down at the bar. It must've been very obvious. It happens to me ALL the time, that's why I dislike the summer so much. If anyone has any times I'm listening, cuz I'm out of ideas. Talc powder works pretty well but how am I gonna get that on my forehead with out looking like I just plunged my head in a bowl of cocaine?
Ashley canceled tonight's date. A bit of relief as I really want to put all my effort on Thursday's rendez-vous with Bella. I asked Nina to decode Bella's text message to seek for signs of whether she might be interested in more than just friendly assistance in something she's working on, and after close analysis, she said that it seems like Bella is using the help excuse to meet, that she's making the first move, but that she'll expect me to make the 2nd one, but without throwing myself at her. All of this from one text message :) In appearance there's no substantial evidence that she wants more than just to meet, but a couple small details has me thinking there might be more, and this was confirmed from the great female mind of Nina. There's one sentence in particular: "Now you have my number". Then there's the smiley, and add to that the fact that we could've settled the matter by phone, that I felt something clicked when we met, etc, etc... well, it just makes me think that maybe, just maybe Bella and I will hit it off, get married, have kids, and live happy ever after :)
On to the sex part. Nina and I had an awesome conversation by msn yesterday about Anal love. The thing that I love about Nina, is that we can talk so openly about our sex lives, and give out TMI without feeling weird, on the contrary. She knows I have a modest sized shlong, and I know she has a rather loose vagina, which is what prompted me to say that we'd probably have to have anal sex together for her to get her kicks. She mentioned that it hasn't been a great experience for her so far, but by the end of the conversation she said it sounded like she was missing out on something, and that she would have to try it again. She was surprised to hear that out of my 8 partners, I had successfully sodomized 3 of them (whereas she has been romanced in the butt 2 out of 18 times, and had fingered one guy!). God bless that woman.
Tags and Stuff
I've added tags to the site, which should help you browse through the content if you're a new reader. You can also check out the Cast list for short notes on the crazy characters of this blog.
I'm totally messed up this morning. I'm addicted to sleeping pills, and can't sleep without them, but the problem is that I wake up after 3-4 hours, when the effect wears off. My sleep is a total mess as a result, and this morning I'm really feeling the ill effects of all of this.
I'm very excited about my date with WD (Woman of my Dreams) on Thursday. I hope I won't be a nervous wreck. I tend to sweat a lot -mainly from the forehead, when I'm nervous. She's such a cutie, I wonder how our conversation will go. It has to go well, I don't see it happening any other way. WD is really helping me forget about #8 Clara. I feel a sense of disgust and wish for revenge when I think of Clara. What an evil mind. I'd really like to think that this period of my life was just meant to be, to allow me to learn what I really want out of life, and to give me a clean slate, a new begining, as cheesy as that sounds.
I can cum daily again when masturbating, phew. The reassuring thing is that I can stay hard a long time, which wasn't the case everytime my doctor increased the dosage of my medication. No increases in sight, so all should be ok sexually.
I'm going to the Big City in 10 days. Time flies. I don't feel quite ready, but I have time to get ready. Just need to really get cracking on preparations and practical stuff.
First of 3 consecutive dates tonight! (Julia tonight, Ashley tomorrow, WD Thursday). This is just a friendly date, so no expectations, but should be a nice evening. Full recap tomorrow of course.
I'm totally messed up this morning. I'm addicted to sleeping pills, and can't sleep without them, but the problem is that I wake up after 3-4 hours, when the effect wears off. My sleep is a total mess as a result, and this morning I'm really feeling the ill effects of all of this.
I'm very excited about my date with WD (Woman of my Dreams) on Thursday. I hope I won't be a nervous wreck. I tend to sweat a lot -mainly from the forehead, when I'm nervous. She's such a cutie, I wonder how our conversation will go. It has to go well, I don't see it happening any other way. WD is really helping me forget about #8 Clara. I feel a sense of disgust and wish for revenge when I think of Clara. What an evil mind. I'd really like to think that this period of my life was just meant to be, to allow me to learn what I really want out of life, and to give me a clean slate, a new begining, as cheesy as that sounds.
I can cum daily again when masturbating, phew. The reassuring thing is that I can stay hard a long time, which wasn't the case everytime my doctor increased the dosage of my medication. No increases in sight, so all should be ok sexually.
I'm going to the Big City in 10 days. Time flies. I don't feel quite ready, but I have time to get ready. Just need to really get cracking on preparations and practical stuff.
First of 3 consecutive dates tonight! (Julia tonight, Ashley tomorrow, WD Thursday). This is just a friendly date, so no expectations, but should be a nice evening. Full recap tomorrow of course.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Touchdown!
I think I'm finally over my squirting phase - which isn't to say I'm not interested in squirting anymore, but I'm not obsessively looking for clips online anymore. Besides, I think I've seen every squirting video clip there is on the www.
So I haven't given much news lately. As they say, no news is good news. In the last week I've had a breakthrough on a creative project I'm working on, I won a poker tournament (out of 16) at a friend's house, and last but definitely not least, the woman of my dreams text me!!! Amazing. It was on Friday evening. I was on my balcony drinking beers with an acquaintance when I received the message. She asked if I remembered her (Duh!) she made a small reference to the fact that the tequila had given her the fatal blow, and she asked if we could see each other next week for a matter we talked about when we met. I responded positively of course, staying honest but not seeming overly pushy and enthusiastic and in love, and we agreed to meet Thursday evening. There's a fair chance that she is not interested in anything more than just friendly assistance in the matter she needed help in, but from the connection I felt last weekend, and the fact that she still wants to see me, I'm thinking there's a chance it could lead to something more. Maybe it will just lead to a friendship, and I'm a specialist at developing friendships with attractive girls and end up in the friend zone trap (Shannon, Nina and so many more). But there's hope for, there's definite hope.
Other than that, well I've been rather busy and rather good. My depression is starting to wear off, and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (which has felt more like a botomless pit really). I'm still cautious, but more confident. I have a "date" tomorrow with a facebook acquaintance. I'm not interested in starting anything with her, but she wants to see the Simpsons movie and I've been wanting to see it a second time. I just love the Simpsons. Wednesday I'm seeing Ashley, a friend (girl) who is moving out of town soon. Drinks with her, and who knows maybe a shag??? (yeah right) and Thursday I'm seeing the woman of my dreams. Good week in perspective! I can't strike out, I have to keep my eye on the ball and go for the solid hit rather than hitting for the fences. It's usually when you just try to make contact that end up with extra bases or even hit a home run. I'll be happy with just a base it. My apologies if you know nothing about baseball, but I don't know any cricket or football (soccer) analogies. Basically, if I score it's great, but I'll be happy with just a good game and a win :)
So I haven't given much news lately. As they say, no news is good news. In the last week I've had a breakthrough on a creative project I'm working on, I won a poker tournament (out of 16) at a friend's house, and last but definitely not least, the woman of my dreams text me!!! Amazing. It was on Friday evening. I was on my balcony drinking beers with an acquaintance when I received the message. She asked if I remembered her (Duh!) she made a small reference to the fact that the tequila had given her the fatal blow, and she asked if we could see each other next week for a matter we talked about when we met. I responded positively of course, staying honest but not seeming overly pushy and enthusiastic and in love, and we agreed to meet Thursday evening. There's a fair chance that she is not interested in anything more than just friendly assistance in the matter she needed help in, but from the connection I felt last weekend, and the fact that she still wants to see me, I'm thinking there's a chance it could lead to something more. Maybe it will just lead to a friendship, and I'm a specialist at developing friendships with attractive girls and end up in the friend zone trap (Shannon, Nina and so many more). But there's hope for, there's definite hope.
Other than that, well I've been rather busy and rather good. My depression is starting to wear off, and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (which has felt more like a botomless pit really). I'm still cautious, but more confident. I have a "date" tomorrow with a facebook acquaintance. I'm not interested in starting anything with her, but she wants to see the Simpsons movie and I've been wanting to see it a second time. I just love the Simpsons. Wednesday I'm seeing Ashley, a friend (girl) who is moving out of town soon. Drinks with her, and who knows maybe a shag??? (yeah right) and Thursday I'm seeing the woman of my dreams. Good week in perspective! I can't strike out, I have to keep my eye on the ball and go for the solid hit rather than hitting for the fences. It's usually when you just try to make contact that end up with extra bases or even hit a home run. I'll be happy with just a base it. My apologies if you know nothing about baseball, but I don't know any cricket or football (soccer) analogies. Basically, if I score it's great, but I'll be happy with just a good game and a win :)
Thursday, August 9, 2007
3 Month Diet and Getting Fat
Almost 3 months without sex. I'm sooo tempted to complain about it here, but instead I will just smile and think to myself "wow, it's really gonna feel amazing next time I DO have sex :)"
I got a reply from Ashley, the girl I met at the 4th of July party last year. She is on for drinks, in two weeks. She took 3 days to reply my facebook msg, and she is agreeing for drinks in two weeks. I think she's playing hard to get. Naughty naughty. Last year she still had a bf. I wonder if that's still the case. I guess I'll find out soon enough. Well not that soon... in two weeks! But yeah, at least we're on for drinks.
Other than that I'm still living a non-life, worrying about getting a job and finding happiness before I turn 30. I'm doing a fixation on this 30 thing. I don't give a damn myself, and I look young, but I feel like my 20s were not that great, and certainly not what I had expected. It wasn't all that bad, but I definitely thought that by 30 I would have life figured out already, and I'm as lost as ever. Funny thing is that when I hit 20, I was in a very dark place as well. I wonder what will happen when I turn 40, if I get there.
I'm not even in the mood to jerk off to porn tonight. I just feel like cuddling. I haven't had sex in 3 months, but I also haven't felt a woman's touch since then. I'm such a romantic! After not eating for weeks, I'm now over eating. I ate everything today: chicken, chocolate, bananas, cookies, crackers, yoghurts, smoothies, candy + a beer and two glasses of wine. Mix that with sitting on my ass all day and it makes for one flat stomach that isn't so flat anymore. Bad Bad B.
I got a reply from Ashley, the girl I met at the 4th of July party last year. She is on for drinks, in two weeks. She took 3 days to reply my facebook msg, and she is agreeing for drinks in two weeks. I think she's playing hard to get. Naughty naughty. Last year she still had a bf. I wonder if that's still the case. I guess I'll find out soon enough. Well not that soon... in two weeks! But yeah, at least we're on for drinks.
Other than that I'm still living a non-life, worrying about getting a job and finding happiness before I turn 30. I'm doing a fixation on this 30 thing. I don't give a damn myself, and I look young, but I feel like my 20s were not that great, and certainly not what I had expected. It wasn't all that bad, but I definitely thought that by 30 I would have life figured out already, and I'm as lost as ever. Funny thing is that when I hit 20, I was in a very dark place as well. I wonder what will happen when I turn 40, if I get there.
I'm not even in the mood to jerk off to porn tonight. I just feel like cuddling. I haven't had sex in 3 months, but I also haven't felt a woman's touch since then. I'm such a romantic! After not eating for weeks, I'm now over eating. I ate everything today: chicken, chocolate, bananas, cookies, crackers, yoghurts, smoothies, candy + a beer and two glasses of wine. Mix that with sitting on my ass all day and it makes for one flat stomach that isn't so flat anymore. Bad Bad B.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Coffee and Sleeping Pills
Back up. I slept about 3 hours, and now I feel pretty fucked up. Sleeping pills and coffee don't mix well.
A girl I met a year ago, Ashley, added me on facebook. Why is this newsworthy? Because when I met her at a 4th of July party we instantly clicked. She's pretty hot and seems like a genuine nice fun girl. Will anything come out of this? Probably not, but I think she might be single now :-) I'm always looking for love, I should really stop that. Besides, I can't get attached to a girl now that I'm looking to move cities.
Things I want to do before I die:
- threesome (2 girls)
- have sex a with a girl who squirts
- pay off my debts
- fuck an ex
- fuck a celebrity
That about sums it up. I have other career goals but who gives a fuck about that, right? I might want kids. Well, in reality I really would like to meet the love of my life within 5 years, get married, have kids, and lead a happy & comfortable life, while having amazing sex with my wife and keeping things fresh as to not fall into a boring routine. I long for stability, but I have a need to escape.
Feeling pretty out of it this morning. Will be more productive this afternoon.
A girl I met a year ago, Ashley, added me on facebook. Why is this newsworthy? Because when I met her at a 4th of July party we instantly clicked. She's pretty hot and seems like a genuine nice fun girl. Will anything come out of this? Probably not, but I think she might be single now :-) I'm always looking for love, I should really stop that. Besides, I can't get attached to a girl now that I'm looking to move cities.
Things I want to do before I die:
- threesome (2 girls)
- have sex a with a girl who squirts
- pay off my debts
- fuck an ex
- fuck a celebrity
That about sums it up. I have other career goals but who gives a fuck about that, right? I might want kids. Well, in reality I really would like to meet the love of my life within 5 years, get married, have kids, and lead a happy & comfortable life, while having amazing sex with my wife and keeping things fresh as to not fall into a boring routine. I long for stability, but I have a need to escape.
Feeling pretty out of it this morning. Will be more productive this afternoon.
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